The past year and a half being single in NYC has been one of the most emotionally draining experiences I’ve dealt with. I don’t need a man to make me happy, but the losers I’m meeting I could definitely do with out. It’s exhausting.
I couldn’t even count the amount of people I have met in this time period, and where have I gotten? Nowhere. It’s all a learning experience though. That’s what life’s about; taking every experience and learning from it. I love meeting new people and that’s probably one of the reasons I go out as much as I do.
Its fun, exciting, something new, and you never know who you could come across. Meeting new people is nice because it’s not like how it was when you were back in high school and everyone knew everything about you, who you had previously dated or hooked up with, and there wouldn’t be any drama.
As much of the fact that it’s a good thing, it has its negative side. You know nothing about them, and everything they say could be bullshit. It’s all about trust which is hard to give someone when in the back of your head you know it could all be bullshit. When you find someone you can give your trust to, don’t let them go, its hard to come by.
A good friend of mine was telling me stories of why he doesn’t trust women. I like getting the male point of view instead of always hearing the female side. He’s very attractive so you would wonder why he’s single. He was telling me how he has hooked up with women who have husbands or boyfriends of 8+ years. That’s fucked. He was so passionate though about how he felt about trust. He told me how these men go out, work all day, bust their asses to provide for their wife/girlfriend, and there these girls are cheating on the best thing that might ever happen to them.
I understand where his trust issues come from, because how could you trust people after you’ve witnessed it 1st hand? He thinks more women cheat on their boyfriends because we are much more sneaky than men are. Men get caught quicker and aren’t as conniving. I agree with him. He’s one of the most honest and straight up guys I have ever met and I appreciate him for that.
Women don’t trust men and men don’t trust women which just makes for some pretty fucked up relationships. Its an ongoing cycle that will never end.
It’s hard for me because I feel like I am in on this all alone. I’m not really close with my family, I’m just a 20 year old floating around NYC doing my own thing. I don’t have positive relationships to base my own decisions off of; Parents divorce, Dad passes away, Mom dates a few and than they break up, Mom gets remarried and they get divorced, and now we’re on husband number 3. So who do I have to look up to? Yes, I have my best friends I confide in and take advice from, but at the end of the day it’s just me and the decisions I make.
Emotionally drained.
acasualfriday 